她是我前同事,第一次见她是公司新办公楼刚落成还在装修中,那时我在新办公楼帮老总监督装修事宜,她随老总和和其他同事过来参观,我们的老总有两个,是一对已经离异的夫妻,大老板是女的,也就是我的顶头上司,她是大老板的秘书。第一次见她,就觉得她很突出,虽然长相也就算中上,但是她的一举一动都很有风味,尤其穿着高跟鞋走路的样子,很迷人,后来才知道,她学习舞蹈好几年,所以女孩子学下舞蹈真的很好。
我从事的工作内容让我和她有很多接触的机会,后来们都住在公司新办公楼的宿舍里,因为其他人还没有搬过来,所以晚上除了门卫、保洁以外就没有其他人了,我们经常一起看电影、电视剧。有一次,我带她看H动漫,公车之狼、office之类的,她看的很动情,我就把灯关了,摸到她床上抱着她,她也没有特别反抗,当我打算进一步占有她的时候,她反抗了,虽然不是很激烈,但是可以看的出,她很害怕,而在我心中,她几乎就是我的女神,虽然我想得到她,但是我不希望她害怕我,我也更怕做完以后她会怨恨我,也许别人不理解我的想法,其实原因很简单,我有个女朋友,虽然我不爱她,但是我必须对她负责,没有什么大变故的话,我也会娶我的女友。所以,最后的结果是我只紧紧的抱了她,甚至没有亲她。
那之后,她刻意和我保持距离,再后来过了大概一个月,我离开了那个公司,和她的联系变少了。在后来某一天,她叫我买米粉给她送过去,我办了,之后,她说请我吃饭,我也就答应了,她点了很多菜,吞吞吐吐告诉我,她被男老总办了,一边说一边哭,当她告诉我的时候,我真的懵了,一下子感觉胸口被什么东西堵住了,再吃不下任何东西,只有不停的喝水。她说,有次和老总出去办事,办完以后就去吃饭了,然后老总开车送她回家,她是路盲,没想到老总就把车开到老总家了,然后她就被办了,她第二天也提出辞职了,她说老总说要娶她,她现在天天做噩梦,不知道该怎么办,她说这件事她谁也没说,一直犹豫要不要告诉我。我知道,她内心的深处觉得对不起的人是我,但是我又能怎样呢,我给不了她要的。我只能安慰她,大不了当被狗咬了,然后我们一起去看了电影,送她回家,她说和我在一起很舒心,我想,她应该能比以前睡的安稳了,毕竟她把最难得事情说出来了,而我却越来越不开心,这事就像一块石头压在我心上,以前一直劝慰自己,她会找到合适她的,她也会和别人在一起,但是当事情已这样一个情况出现在我面前的时候,我真的很难接受,我还必须在她面前表现的很淡然,否则她会觉得我瞧不起她,我在她面前有多难做人,有多尴尬!
【完】
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